IRL: Diets, motivation and a break in exercise

Welp. I broke it just a couple days ago. T_T Sorry Blogiates...video games are just too good! Today I decided to work on diet. Diet diet diet. And by diet I don't mean actually skimping on meals, but rather a change in meals. Today I had a red and orange bell pepper, broccoli, mushroom and onion stirfry...with red pepper flakes! It was really good actually...I liked it. And from what everyone says, I can have as many vegetables as I please and not worry too much about all those carbs. I like that part of the diet. :>

Other than that, I'm taking advice from JennIm and photographing my food to make sure I'm looking at it with guilt. Yes. Guilt. I'm gonna guilt myself into eating right!

Lastly, I think I realized something that I need to remind myself every day about...this isn't for anyone. I'm not dieting so Oppa will love me more. Oppa already loves me the way I am. I always say to him "Do you hate me?". And by that I should finish it with my real feelings..."Do you hate my body? My looks? My physical presentation? Do I embarrass you? Shame you? I'm sorry..." because that's how I feel when it comes to people who love me. They lie to me and say they're okay with how I look, but inside they think I'm ugly and fat and they don't wanna to be seen with me.

But ya know...Oppa isn't that way. He never has treated me different. So I shouldn't worry. What I should be doing is looking in the mirror and saying that. "Do you hate you? Your looks? Your physical presentation? Do you embarrass yourself? Shame yourself? You're sorry..."

And yes, I am sorry. But being sorry doesn't do anything. Feeling sorry for myself doesn't help the situation at all. With words must come action, let they just be empty. I'm sad I made myself this way, but at the same time, I think that's just what is me. I'm a weak person...but it doesn't mean I can't become someone who is strong. I have to just believe in myself. Be happy with who I am...though unhappy about what I am. But who I am can change what I am. It just takes a little effort and a different mindset.

Be strong.

IRL: Not yet gone

Hey everyone, sorry for the lack of posts. I still remember this blog, don't worry! I'm also still playing Pokemon too, just atm finals are killing me. I have so much to do!

But I'm not stressing. Why is because I think I have my life in order. These days have been very interesting. I've got plenty of work to do for Logic. And honestly, that's kind of one of my favorite things to do now. It's so interesting how everything works together. It's just a matter of me doing the work correctly.

Anyway, I started blogiates again today and I really hope I stick with it. It's making me feel pretty good. My body is warm, I've been having breakfast and eating and drinking right. I'm drinking tea again!! :> Listening to good music too!

Exercise is really amazing. It makes me feel like I'm ready to do something. I feel responsible and prepared. I feel ready to take the workload. Granted, it kinda hurts...x_x But ya know what...? I'll do it all one step at a time. Isn't it a little surprising? Exercise is kinda making me feel...how can I say it...relaxed. I feel like I can take on the work load, just a little at a time and I don't really have to stress that badly.

Just work with what you can and the next day is new and you can start working hard again! I have to remind myself to put some leisure time in the middle and not over work myself.

I have to start looking at my body like a temple. I don't want to look at my face and say, "aw, I'm cute. But my body...I want to ignore it". That's just running away. I have to look at what I am, say "I want to change. Today. Why am I running away from something that feels great! And is great FOR me too!". I really, honestly hope this mentality keeps with me all the time. New year resolution...keep up the good work! Don't slack! Be good to yourself as you are to others.